Crusader? I Hardly Know 'Er!

Phandalin, or, "HEY ASSHOLES!"

After arriving in Phandalin, the party secured rooms at the Pink Pony, delivered half of the NETC’s goods recovered to Lineine O’Donnell, and did some general investigating.

The interesting bits of information you gathered:

  • A group of ruffians calling themselves Redbrands pretty much have the run of the town
  • The Redbrands are HUUUUUUGE assholes and hang out at the Sleeping Giant Tavern
  • Srsly, they straight up murdered a dude and no one’s seen his wife and kid since
  • A retired adventurer Named Daran Edermath owns and operates an orchard just outside town
  • Goblins, bigger than the ones just cleared from Cragmaw Cave, have been seen on the east end of the Three Boar Road, and the burghermeister is looking for someone to go slaughter them
  • Said burghermeister seems to be content to let the Redbrands do whatever the fuck, and even seems to condone their assholery. The Innkeeper would like to do something about it, but is afraid of retribution against his wife and children. Still, it sure would be nice if someone were to do something. Maybe with an axe handle. After all, there’s nothing like a nice piece of hickory.
  • A hobbit named Qelline Alderleaf runs a farm on the other side of town from the orchard with her ten year old son
  • Barthen’s Provisions has adventuring gear for sale in addition to the NETC
  • Lineine O’Donnell has gear and weapons for sale as well, and will also help out the party however she can
  • Iarno Albrecht did show up in town about three weeks ago, mentioned he was there to open a Brotherhood safehouse, but disappeared shortly afterwards. He’s a short German with a dark beard.
  • The Phandalin Miner’s Exchange is the unofficial records office
    Solyent Green is people

After speaking with patrons and owners at the Pink Pony, Kildrak decided to “find the wolves a chew toy,” and by “find the wolves a chew toy” he meant “go fuck up the Redbrands.” Gathering the party, they quietly scouted outside the Sleeping Giant, until Ruby decided to speed things along and got the Redbrands’ attention in keeping with his own particular idiom: Bardic upbringing by composing a short but delightful sonnet

HEY ASSHOLES!

Comments

hope you don’t mind I tweaked the last line a bit to highlight Ruby’s talents in the bardic tradition

Phandalin, or, "HEY ASSHOLES!"
 

Also I’m surprised no one commented on the Pale Rider reference, but no worries. XD

Phandalin, or, "HEY ASSHOLES!"
sknuchel

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